2011, in quotes

“Apple denies that its correct name is Apple, Inc. The correct name of Respondent is Apple Inc.” — Apple’s response to an HTC complaint.

“There are two types of companies: those that work hard to charge customers more, and those that work hard to charge customers less. Both approaches can work. We are firmly in the second camp.” — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos on the new Kindle Fire’s price.

“He thought it was safe to smoke because it said so on the Internet.” — Tonya Rice, mother of Westmoreland County teen Brandon Rice, who died Oct. 27, commented on the effects of lung damage from smoking synthetic marijuana.

“It’s like Elizabeth Taylor and husbands. That has to be unprecedented.” — Beano Cook, ESPN analyst, on Pitt having Dave Wannstedt, Mike Haywood, Phil Bennett, Todd Graham and Keith Patterson as coaches in a one-year period. Dec. 14.

“Our assessment is that the Egyptian government is stable.” – Hillary Clinton on the stability of Mubarak’s Egypt 18 days before he stepped down.

“Egypt is free!” – Editorial, The Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon.

“I love Chinese food, but I don’t want to live in it.” – Jill Wirtz, a neighbor of 99 Ranch Market in Rancho Cucamonga, testifying at an Air Quality Management Board hearing in May on cooking smells allegedly emanating from the market. The Asian supermarket installed odor-control equipment.

RAPEST.” – Misspelled word forcibly tattooed onto the forehead of a mentally impaired Oklahoma City man in April. Stetson Johnson had a bar code tattooed over the word to hide it. His attackers also bound him, beat him, shocked him with a stun gun and tattooed “I like little boys” onto his chest.

Verizon to charge $2 convenience fee – Verizon.

“Occupy Wallstreeters are 0.00001% of people claiming they are 99%” – unknown message board.

“But one mustn’t forget that a banker is always at risk, the minute he lends money.” – Former Deutsche Bank CEO Hilmar Kopper.

“The more you spend the more you save.” – TV ad.

“It’s a hill … get over it,” written on a shirt of a high school cross country runner.

“The best things in life aren’t things … ,” bumper sticker.

“They had no intention of winning the game…They did what they set out to do.” – US soccer star Donovan, after the Galaxy’s 1-1 draw against the Revolution on March 20.

“The bar owner owns the air within the building, and we are saying the county is trying to claim de facto public easement in the air. That’s a taking of property.” — Muncie attorney Bruce Munson, July 28, after filing a lawsuit on behalf of bar owners to stop the county’s new prohibition on cigarette smoking in taverns.

“I think one of the real challenges was not knowing what the challenges were going to be… So, it requires a lot of new solutions that no one has never thought up.” – Mat Marquis, principal designer, The Boston Globe, discussing the paper’s “responsive redesign” project with RWW’s Dan Rowinski, September 14, 2011.

“They…say, ‘clock,’ but they mispronounce it. They drop the ‘l’ from it. I don’t want to react because I don’t want them to know it’s a bad word, but I want to encourage them to talk so I’m like, ‘That’s good!’” -  Jerry O’Connell, on the unexpected joys of raising his 2-year-old twin daughters Dolly and Charlie, on Rachel Ray Show.

“When they ask me, ‘Who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan?’ I’m going to say, ‘You know, I don’t know. Do you know?’ “  – former GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain who is eyeing Defense Department Post!

“I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” – Mitt Romney, whose net worth is around $200 million, speaking to unemployed workers in Florida.

“The world is using up its natural resources at an alarming rate, and this has caused a permanent shift in their value.” – Jeremy Grantham, hedge fund manager and Chief Investment Strategist of GMO Capital echoes Irving Fisher’s quip, three days before the 1929 crash, that “Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.”

“In his early activist days, Barack Obama the community organizer sued banks to ease their lending practices. Now his administration is suing banks for issuing risky mortgages.” -  Jim Hoft.

“Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” — Rick Perry.

”The president, he put us in Libya. He is now putting us in Africa.” – Michele Bachmann, unaware that Libya is in Africa.